6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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