I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
