can u get pink eye on your cock?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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