1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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