Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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