I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Holy shit dude........stairs
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
