Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize