Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
