what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
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