Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
