Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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