I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
