I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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