He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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