I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
