was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
