I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well I just put wine in my tea
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
