I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
