I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
