you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
