Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
