so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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