Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
