oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize