I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
