my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
false alarm. still invincible.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
