Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
