I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
