I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
