You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
