if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
