Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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