I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
