he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
