he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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