Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
