I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
