I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
