Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
