You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
