I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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