Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Your tits are I can't wait for
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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