It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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