Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
