i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
