If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
