Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize