We need to rekindle our bromance
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
