with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
