How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
