Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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