The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
