can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize