we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
