Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
