im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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