Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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