I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Did I show you my penis last night?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
