remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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