the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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