His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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